HALF OF ME KNOWS BETTER

I never longed to be better not even for myself,

But for you, I yearn to be enough,

To mold myself into someone worthy,

To finally let myself believe I could be loved by you.

 

Every second passes by with you in my mind,

A trance I cannot break,

A dream I should not dream.

This is so wrong but damn, how I wish it were right.

 

Because loving you means losing something else,

A bond, a piece of my world,

Something I may never get back.

You were never meant to be mine,

And yet, here I am choosing you in silence.

 

I want to tell you everything,

But what if I make it all about me?

Or worse what if you listen,

And the words can never be unsaid?

 

I want you to be vulnerable with me.

I want to be vulnerable with you.

I want you to be my safe place.

But maybe that’s just an impossible dream.

 

Maybe I just want someone

To hear me, to hold me, to stay.

To love me, or at least to make me feel loved.

 

But if I strip away the longing, the ache, the need

Is it you that I want?

Or do I only crave the warmth of being wanted?

~ Écho d’Étoile